Why is it all of a sudden everyone wants to date you? It seemed for the past couple of weeks I wasn't getting any takers on any of the multiple dating websites I belong to. I was on Match.com, Eharmony, Chemistry and my favorite Plenty of Fish. Just this past week all of a sudden my email notifications were going off every five seconds! Well, not really but I was getting about three or four emails a day from various men. Some of them were way younger and I immediately blocked them from contacting and then some were as old as my father. That is gross! However, I have been in contact with three different men. Three different personalities and most definitely three different email styles. So let's talk about how men initiate contact.
Let's talk about Matt (and no that isn't his real name). Matt is on POF (Plenty of Fish). He read my requirements and sent me an email telling me that his profile was accurate and asked me if mine was a bunch of crap or was I really being honest. Well, of course I responded back and stated, "Yes, my profile picture and requirements are indeed true!". We emailed back and forth several times asking each other questions about our families, jobs, etc. Finally Matt asked if he could call me. I gave him my cell phone number and within minutes I received a text asking me to confirm the number. I most certainly did and received another message thanking me. Did he call? Nope, he started to text me. What is up with that? Don't ask for my number then start texting me questions. Just send me emails. Texting is not the place to ask me what I would do if I won 5 million dollars playing the lottery. Come on guys, if you ask for a phone number then dial it.
The second guy on POF (let's call him Matt also because his real name is the same name as the first guy) sends me an email telling me how pretty I am and stated he like my profile. We email back and forth and do the same ritual of asking the same questions. Eventually, Matt #2 asks me for my phone number. I responded with my number. Did he call? Nope! He sends me a text asking to confirm the number. Again, I responded that yes this was my number. Matt #2 proceeds to start texting me and asking me more time consuming typing questions. I finally told Matt#2 that asking me long drawn out questions and expecting me to text long drawn answers was like fingernails being runned down a blackboard. Very painful! Eventually, Matt #2 calls me and apologizes. Anyway, we chit chat for a few minutes and then we hit the awkward silence. We didn't speak for a good minute when I decided to say, did I lose you, are you still there? Matt #2 responds and starts to stammer when he spits out would I like to meet him for coffee. Mind you, Matt #2 is 48 years old and by his photo is not a bad looking guy. I politely told him yes, I would meet for coffee. We are suppose to meet for coffee tomorrow so I will keep everyone posted as to how it goes!
The third gentlemen and let's call him Sam sends me an email and asks how are you? Okay, let's be real here. How are you as your opening line? How are you is like asking would you like fries with that. Of course, I am not fine. I am single! I want to find a partner to share my life with. Do I respond with that. Nope, I just politely state that I am fine and wishing for Spring to get here! Sam then sends me an email back asking what I like to do for fun. That is a stupid question because everything I like to do for fun is listed in my profile. Does Sam not know how to read? If Sam was really interested in me he would have asked me what is like to scuba dive with Sharks or which Die Hard movie is your favorite. Why do men persist in asking the same stupid question of what do you like to do for fun!
Yes, dating is extremely difficult and making that first initial contact is even harder. However, as older mature adults we need to ask more substantial questions when starting that contact. So listed below are some questions that I wish someone would ask me when they first contact me:
1. You stated in your profile that you have two great kids. How did you manage to raise your great kids with all of the peer pressures kids are subjected to in school?
2. Your profile is quite unique. Why do you feel the need to state such requirements?
3. I like your profile. What is favorite part of the day and why?
4. I love your smile. It looks like you are up to something. Have you ever done anything wild and crazy?
5. Can we just cut through the chase. Can I just have your phone number so I can call you so we can chat instead of doing this email thing?
6. Your profile is just what I have been searching for in a woman. You seem like a great person. What is your favorite vacation spot and why?
7. Do you think Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?
I feel like I am in high school when I get messages asking me how are you, I think you are pretty, etc. I am not 16. I am 45, educated, smart and yes, pretty sexy when I want to be and quite frankly that is every day. No, I can't change the way men contact me but I can change the way I respond. So, the next email I get asking stupid questions, I am going to respond in the following:
Question: How are you?
Answer: Well, I have a bunion on my foot and it really hurts. My dog just crapped all over the carpet and my car just got repossessed other than that, I am doing really great! How about yourself!
Question: What is your favorite color?
Answer: Well, I don't have a favorite color because I am color blind.
Question: What is your favorite thing to do for fun?
Answer: Go to Wal-Mart and shoplift.
Ah, yes! I just love dating and all of its little qirks! Will I ever meet an intelligent man who is just as confident as I am? Maybe what I need to do is purchase a pair of Dorothy shoes from the Wizard of Oz and click the heels three times and say "Someday Mr Right will come!"
Well, for the record I have hidden my profile on Match and POF. Why you ask? Because the same idiots on Match are on POF and contact me! I am crossing my fingers that Eharmony or Chemistry might give me better luck! At least on those two sites they give you starter questions and email suggestions.
It is going to be a busy weekend for me! I have my date on Friday with Matt #2 and yes, I am going to meet Matt #1 on Saturday. Sunday I am going to a Euchre tournament at a local Harley Bike Club called the Dinosores. They are raising funds for sick needy kids. Who knows maybe I will meet someone at the Charity event!
Chow,
Spyderrenee
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